Updated: Nov 27, 2020
Oh! Keep Taking Birth Control, Then!
I'm sure you thought I was gonna be here talking bout women and reproduction. Nah, come on, you know better than that. I'm never talking about what I'm actually talking about. Well, maybe a little bit. All I know is Benny Hill was on to something when he said, "Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?"
I read that quote and immediately thought about how humans strongly support preventing the things we are naturally designed to do. I've concluded there are two kinds of people. The ones who already have babies but are quick to tell those without, having kids is hard and stressful. They rarely put at the forefront just how much joy children bring. Like watching them hold up that letter "C" in the Christmas Play. Ooh, child! Even if their lil bambino cries the whole time, that parent could not be more proud. You'd swear that kid just pulled a Kamala! So why would they not want you to experience that? Things that make you go hmmm, right? Translation: Don't let folks deny you the satisfaction of experiencing what may bring you joy.
Then, there are those who like to ask grown women, "So when you havin' this baby?" They're what I call if 'that's none of your business' was a person. But forget all that; I need you to check your circle, and if no one is asking you, "So when we getting certified in that skill?" sad to say you're in the wrong Lamaze class. It means you have no one behind you, encouraging you to push. It's a no-brainer that nothing worth having comes easy, so why are you letting those around you tell you what you have in mind can't be done?
Prevention is NOT the cure
If you're a woman of a certain age, then perhaps you've been in a relationship where a man has asked you, "Are you on the pill?" To me, that's the same as some heffa asking, "You really think that idea gonna work?" Just as the pill, IUDs, and condoms are created to prevent physical pregnancy, some measures hinder outward manifestation. Translation: The birth controls of life are called distraction, doubt, lack of confidence, perfectionism, excuses, inconsistency, not planning, laziness, no discipline and the band of merry men, better known as haters. Every day you allow one of these to take up residence in your life; you've just taken 'the pill.'
Like an unplanned pregnancy, a dream could have been conceived in you, but maybe you weren't ready. Maybe, you couldn't quite wrap your mind around how this idea could fit into your life. For a long time, my aversion to being a mother was that I couldn't stand the thought of anyone puking on me. I didn't like the idea of late nights, early mornings, and all that denying of self I'd witnessed. That was way-to-much. Plus, I was convinced I'd probably be a horrible mom anyway! And like my niece once told me, "You're my forever, Auntie!" That was it for me!
Subconsciously that was exactly how I treated all that creativity swirling in my head. As if it were some baby who had just pooped in my lap. Squeamish at the thought of having to clean it up. I would have surely been that person who threw the baby out with the bathwater. All the concepts that I'm sure would have put me on the map, I dismissed because lil ole me couldn't possibly make them happen. There was no way I had enough in me to bring anything into being. But the lie detector determined that IS a lie. Translation: Just as babies can't raise themselves, dreams, goals, vision—all require work and sacrifice.
My church upbringing says to abort is a sin because it means you've killed. I'm here telling you to not incubate your ambitions is the same thing, murder in the first degree. It's premeditated but driven by the actions and opinions of others. Or let's look at it another way. To not put those goals into action means you've committed suicide. OH-EMM-GEE friend, you seriously wanna take your own life?
It's a woman's right to choose, they say, and they may be right. Listen, boo, like T.I. says, go on and have whatever you like. But let me remind you of this. We've heard the miraculous stories of world changers who said their mother tried to abort them. Yet despite all attempts, they lived. Why? Because 'purpose' was more significant than one selfish act. We've heard of the mother who swore she was on the pill, better yet her tubes were tied, yet she woke-up in labour, not knowing she was pregnant. We've heard of the woman who had already changed life. No longer producing an egg and having hot flashes in the middle of winter. She went in for a routine check-up, and BAM got hit with the news that at 55, she's bout to have a kid. And there you sit trying to tell me with all your working faculties you can't conceive and bring an idea to life? Translation: Whether your mind is puberty young or Abraham & Sarah old, aspirations can be birthed from you.
Protect against STD's (short term dilemma)
Protection is meant to guard against probability. If your dream has some weak points, keep that baby in the house. Tend to it until it's gained strength. What the el-m-n-o-p am I talking about, right? Hear me, people aren't quick to tell everyone their kid has a fault. Unless that flaw has made it on the evening news, they keep that secret in the family. I don't know bout anywhere else in the world, but in The Bahamas, if a kid is wrong or not, their mama would threaten anyone for her child and not think twice. "Tell thingamabob, don't make me walk down there naked for them!" Translation: Protect your dream, like you protecting your young in the wild.
The pill (i.e. friends, family, co-workers, toxic-bae, procrastination, fear, etc.) stops ovulation. Meaning the mature egg being released for fertilization will be destroyed. Hence pregnancy (incubation stage of the fetus—where your seed is formed, nourished and grows) will NOT happen. That's to say any idea, goal or thing you are passionate about will never have a chance to live. So I ask you, who or what are you ingesting that stops your natural function from reproducing? As if that's not bad enough, why you out here taking Plan B (the morning after pill)? Translation: Stop giving them, they and people the power to say what lives and dies in your life.
Folks be dead excited when you say, "I'm pregnant!" in the physical sense. Yeah, they'll congratulate maybe even haphazardly support you. But they'll sure 'nuff talk about you if you start looking a bit struggly. But let you say, "Hey, I'm opening a business!" or "Girl, I'm going back to school!" they'll be quick to list all the reasons why you shouldn't do it. If you don't see anything wrong with that, well then, Houston, we have a problem.
The Baby Blocker
You wanna know the 411? Get off the pill!
I promise you the side effects are more damaging than you think. In many cases, women who've been on birth control for a long time have all the trouble in the world conceiving when they finally decide to have a baby. You still have time to change the narrative. But don't sleep; that rhythm method is just as reckless. Keep playing Russian roulette with your life then. Translation: When you accidentally, on purpose, anchor your goals to someone you aren't in covenant with (aka trifling whats-his-face), you end up a baby-mama. Let's be real, men who are married ain't bout wasting the seed. Now imagine, you birth something, lose custody, and end up with visitation rights only. Translation: Don't end up with no access to or benefits of things that were originally yours.
The ability to procreate is in you, whether you are male or female. And like any proud parent, you'd want to look at what you've produced and say, "Now that's good!" Besides that, I need you to take all the precautions that pregnant people do—especially the rule of not telling anyone anything until the end of your third trimesters. No, that's not a typo. Announce the baby when it's born. Scripture done warned us about this. And I quote: Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. (Genesis 37:5 NIV) And we all know how that story ends. Translation: Say less!
So I ask, why are you taking birth control? Repeatedly tricking your body into thinking it's pregnant so you can't actually get pregnant. Translation: Looking like you have money and having money is NOT the same thing. How do I know you're on the pill? Well, why are you surrounding yourself with people who are comfortable with mediocrity? Why you still with homeslice who only wanna keep you single but barefoot and pregnant, literally? Why are you entertaining missy, who thrives on being bad and boujee? Why are you hanging with people who only want to party every weekend? Pray-tell, what is it you'll be celebrating? You were not put on earth to occupy space and use-up oxygen. You are here to fill a need.
Going forward, I hope you are equally upset when someone tries to stagnant your dream, as you are at the tyrants who tell women, "You're not permitted to abort a fetus because life begins at conception." I hope you're as indignant at people who speak ill about your goals as you are at the teacher who told your kid he'll never amount to anything. I hope you're as outraged at your friends who don't support your vision as you were at your family when they didn't buy your baby a gift. I want you to feel some kind of way about co-workers that low-key use your services but can never share your flyer as they do everyone else's. Keep that same energy!
Be fruitful, and multiply (Gen 1:28) is not just about you getting excited to plan your gender reveal party. Can you see 'you' in your circle? Is there anything tangible that there's no denying you're the producer? Have you exercised your ability to duplicate using your own genetic material? Translation: There should be a creation with your DNA all over it. Meaning when your divine nature is activated, then a dire need is answered. Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ear (Shakespeare); I need you to stop joking! Look, if you simply choose the right partner, then you won't need protection. Selah—think and act on these things!