Updated: Nov 17, 2020
TMI Alert: If we knew how much waste was backed-up in these 32-22-32 bodies, we'd do a cleanse post-haste. I mean faster than Beyonce sold out of the Ivy Park Collection. One colon cleansing company claims that the average person is carrying around 6-40lbs of waste in their bodies (I'm not quite sure of the accuracy, but whoa)! That amount of junk, of course, did not get there overnight. It has been building up over time (it's not the result of one chicken snack). With all that we consume in our figurative body (i.e., complaining coworkers, ractched reality tv, years of mental abuse, etc.), it's safe to say we're overweight in more ways than one.
As with most things that are not good for us, its the stuff that tastes the best, and the things we crave the most that can do the most irreparable damage.
I'll start by saying that I have been social distancing long before 2020. So, in the spirit of transparency, let me tell you about the time I went dark. 'Life' and I seem not to take vacations from each other. Somehow, we've become joined at the hip. Life, as in times gone by, sent me two curveballs at once. My health began acting funny again, and my emotions were flashing a code red. For these reasons, I decided to take a year off social media. I want to sit here and tell you that I was being all deep and wanted some much needed time for myself. You know, to reacquaint 'me' with my good Lord and saviour. But that won't be entirely accurate. While that happened in the process, it pales in comparison to the whole truth. If you continue to follow this blog, you'll see how that year off had many different facets of lessons learned and clarity gained because of this hiatus. The truth is I was a bit bitter, not so much with the world but with myself. You see, I was in this cushy relationship, that let me tell you, I adored! This relationship was it, folks. This was 'the one.' All the trusted advisors gave their stamp of approval, and I was sure I was one question away from checking a significant box of off the lifetime things-to-do list. Instead, and with no warning, life said, "Aht, Aht, no sweet girl, not so fast! Where you think you going?" You can imagine my reaction, "Now, what now?" I was having one of those inhales that made it difficult to exhale.
Sad to say, the bottom fell out, and I was in shambles. Well, in grand me fashion, I figured I was going to take time to heal. Stowing away, as I've always told myself one needs. Only to learn many months later, those extreme measures may not always be necessary. Some actions merely require a decision (and yes, I say this a lot). Anyway, I retreated to my little self-secluded bubble. I honestly didn't want to see anyone's "I said yes," nor anyone's colour-coordinated destination pre-nuptials photos by celebrity photographers. I didn't want to see anyone's wedding mashup video-where the bride read a heartfelt letter to the groom, and I sure as hell didn't want to see any gender reveal party, followed by anybody's doggone baby-foot. I'm sure you're wondering why the baby's foot. If you've been following me for a while, you'll know that I often said I never saw myself as the mothering kind. Well, for the first time since I had any sense, I conceived this thought in my little heart. Man, I imagined me in the rocking chair singing, "Yes, Jesus Loves Me," while coddling ten-fingers and ten-toes, kissing cute eyes and a button nose. But no, my life seemed to have made other plans. I was over it! Social media with all my 600-plus friends (that I never really talked to anyway) had to go! Pe-ri-od!
Find the source.
Amidst my very lavish pity-party, I found myself not liking the thoughts running through my mind. The moment I realized that my happiness for others was a delayed reaction, I knew I needed to see Dr. Jesus. Spoiler alert: If your "I'm so happy for you!" is not an immediate reaction to someone's good news, I'm afraid you have a problem. "I'm happy for you," shouldn't come after you've slept on it, heard the reasons why others are happy for them, or finally when you conclude that "Yea, she's been through a lot, so it's bout time!" No! Regardless of circumstances, your reaction should immediately be one of joy for someone else's storybook beginning. If this describes you, then my friend, it's an indication you need to detox from your very 'messy' insides.
This 'new normal' of 'mandatory' but necessary social distancing is what the doctor ordered-even if we didn't recogize it.
While it started that way, I didn't spend the whole time wallowing in self-pity. I found myself taking everything concerning my life to the Lord in prayer. I didn't pray any 'deep' church taught prayer either. It was raw and candid because what's the purpose of lying at this point. God knows it all! The key to conquering your issues is first to admit they exist. I had to confess I was angry, and that my ego took a bruising. Publicly! Again! It was hard to acknowledge how I felt-none of what I was experiencing was fair. I threw my tantrums, but what was most valuable during this time was that I saw how much work I needed on the inside of me. Forget where my 'man' at; this was so critical that I spent most of my prayer time, asking God to help me with my attitude towards others. While I could now revisit social media at a time when it's pretty much the pinnacle of human interaction, I do so with a more lucid conscious. I do so by being able to view what is posted by others and not feel slighted in any way. I can say, "I am happy for you, and I wish you well!" and mean it. Translation: I now have regular bowel movements because I have streamlined my intake.
Before now, I was afraid to admit I was broken. Again! But the whole notion of coming clean morphed into a journey of realness that birthed four more books, two e-books, a blog, and enough social media content (posting everyday) for a year. Detoxing is not just for the body, but if you parallel it to detoxing the soul, you'll find some similarities:
Eliminates toxins - believe it or not, sometimes you are the toxic one. FYI: Toxicity is not male-specific; it's gender-neutral.
Improves your overall health - you'll have more energy and less fatigue. Translation: you'll know how to respond in love and be quick to forgive, especially if you are the wronged party.
Allows for more energy - you'll now have the will to 'focus' on the things that matter most and give your full undivided attention to the things that are your responsibility.
Promotes weight loss - retracting yourself from certain people, places, and things will help to alleviate most of the built-up tension and frustration in your life. Saddling burdens to your back that wasn't designed for you to carry is the quickest way to make yourself sick. Lay it down, sis! Just lay it down!
People say that time heals wounds, and I'm afraid I have to disagree. When you 'say' you've walked away from something, but if the right strings are pulled, you go wheeling back into the very thing that made you sick. Then time, in your case, was only passed. Believe me; I get it; just because you don't see tears don't mean they're not there. While many of us function through the chaos, we are not at peace (noise playing in the background is a distraction).
Find the root of the issue and start plucking-up from there.
The moment I decided that I was done (with all the dumbness) was the moment I was. In that whole time, nearly two years of trying to catch my bearings, I realized I never said, "I'm done!" It was then I figured out that detoxing cannot commence unless you feel sick enough to do whatever it takes to pursue health (sick and tired of being sick and tired). Guess what? It's not only figurative; its literal-your life does depend on it! While flat tummy tea seems all the rage, there is no point in taking a photo with the packet squished next to your face, when you know all you did for the picture was put on your waist trainer (i.e., filter). It's like this, many of us have fallen prey to the 12-month gym membership and only went the first week in January-if that. Don't trifle with your mental and emotional stability this way. Take my simple advice; your past is best-left right where it is, behind you. Ask Lot's wife! I'll tell you; healing seemed to go at warped speed the moment I took actions toward the process. You're telling yourself a lie if you think distance or the block and delete pivot is all you need to be over and done with a situation. Drinking the tea moments after guffing down a 3-piece from KCF, defeats the purpose (stop looking back).
You have to get it ingrained in your psyche that anything that does not add, subtracts.
Here's how I see it, if I'm always the common denominator for toxicity, then I have to check myself and do what I must to rid 'me' of the extra. When you gain weight, no one else's clothes are tight and uncomfortable, but yours. If socially distancing yourself is what is needed to take control of your life, then do that. And don't you dare let anyone tell you you're getting too skinny (friends who say you've changed). One thing is for sure, slim is definitely in when it comes to being healthy, happy, and whole.