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It’s NOT Eve’s Fault Your Life is a Mess!

"You wait til' I get to heaven, I ga' tell Eve bout her........!" Hey, you! Pique down, missy! Can we please, for the love of God, let Eve rest in peace already? From the time I could tie my shoes, poor Eve has been dragged through the mud for eating the apple or whatever it was that she ate in the garden. Since before humans discovered fire, my girl has been catching flack for everything from P.M.S. to chapter 7 bankruptcy. At this point, I just want to resurrect Johnny Cochran to get the indicted Eve off the hook. I mean, if he could do it for OJ........well then.

Look, unlike most, I'm not in denial. If it was me in the garden, I absolutely would have eaten the fruit—no doubt about it. Adam wasn't merely getting a bite, either. Oh no! He would have been served a five-star dessert as if it was created by Duff Goldman (the Ace of cakes) himself. I would have gone as far as having all the animal's line-up like it was Coming to America and his queen-to-be was being presented on a golden platter! Be fake all you want, deep down inside you know you would have eaten it too.

Did I do that?

How dare we fault Eve for our trash life? Through the ages, we humans have proven to be blame specialists. Ironically, even recording artists have us swaying to a 'lack of accountability' beat, like the all-star choir that sang 'We are the World'. Milli Vanilli hollered, 'Blame it on the Rain.' Frank Sinatra cried, 'Blame it on my Youth,' while Mr. Big insisted, 'There is nobody left to Blame.'

Not to be outdone, modern-day artists came around with a twist. Jamie Fox bawl-out 'Blame it on the Alcohol, Silk the Shocker outright confessed 'It ain't my fault.' But in 2000, popular Jamaican recording artist Shaggy put the icing on the cake and swore: "It wasn't me!" Somebody, anybody, please pin me the location of who I can perpetually blame if the decisions I make in my life go awry? We out in these streets chanting in unison like O.J., "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!" Nah fam, plead guilty and just do better.

Here's the thing, if your decisions resulted in victory, you wouldn't be looking to 'blame,' you'd be celebrating like it was the Rose Bowl Parade.

I'm just curious as to how and why amidst all of today's chaos, Eve's name keeps coming up. She's not even alive! When you get to heaven, don't you dare roll up on her like I've heard people say they'd do. You know, and I know, it's not her fault that we keep doing the same silly thing over and repeatedly. Humanity isn't even riding on our decisions, and we still can't get it right, but I digress! All I know is Eve gonna be my girl in heaven.

The only thing I want to ask her is, which image did the serpent take on? Was he like a Brad Pitt, or was he like a young Denzel? Girl Eve, my sister, I totally get it! We kin-folk. I'll just need a mental picture of who I would have screwed over humanity for.

We women know, some 'men' gat us out here wearing our winter clothes during summer. I suppose this could have been the case with Eve, right? Yet we act like we don't get it. Please, come love, (pats chair) have several seats, right here next to me.

Nothing new under the sun

FF.Y.I. - More than 6,000 years have elapsed since the dreaded day in the garden, yet chicks in the 21st century still doing the same 'dumbness.' In some form or the other, we continue to do the very thing we're condemning Eve for. From Eden with no clothes barely covered with fig leaves to now the most mecca of Metropolises clad in designer labels, we continue to repeat the cycle, daily. Oh, you don't believe me? Allow me to count the ways:

  1. We're still entertaining the serpent - aka answering texts from the dude who has shown you exactly who he is, more times than Abraham has sons.

  2. We're still eating the forbidden fruit - feeding our souls with things that profit us nothing. How many Housewives franchises are there again? And how many do you watch? How much is a drink at the club, and how many nights a week do you go? And how many shoes can your feet wear at once? Oh, okay!

  3. We're still blaming everyone but ourselves for our slip-ups - just as Adam threw Eve under the bus, "God, the woman YOU gave me...", we can still find every excuse on how the train-wreck of a situation is someone else's doings.

  4. We're still hiding from God when we do wrong - all my church girls know the code for messing up is "I'm on a sabbatical!" Translation, 'Let me fornicate in peace. Please, and thanks.'

Deal or No Deal

Just like Eve, every day we're presented with a choice. Are you going to trade what's in your hand for the possibility of getting better? I'll tell you, that's always a risky gamble. All Eve wanted was to be in the know. That has to reach all of us on some level. Still, presented before us is always the choice to go left, right or straight. We can either wait it out or engage in things that bring temporary satisfaction. Listen, don't let no one fool you, sin is 'a-ma-zinggg'. It will snatch your weave along with all your good edges. It's crunked, its lit, its whatever the young folks call something being a grand ole' time these days. I don't know, I can't keep up! Be warned though, it's those terms and conditions on the backend of pleasure that sucker-punches us every time.

Sadly, because we ignore the fine print (i.e. all the previous examples of why you shouldn't be unequally yoked), we end up damaged in the most devastating ways. Cursed and banned from the garden, better known as being a citizen of single-dom longer than was perhaps intended. PSA: Sis, your mojo is not the G.O.A.T., and you'll never be right for someone who isn't ready.

Confession: I have had C.I.S (Children of Israel Syndrome) for more than 3 quarters of my adult life, and I'm still not cured. I doubt I've ever even been in remission. I'm just no longer ignoring facts - I need God for everything.

From the garden to now, I think it's safe to say that we have an irrefutable, unquestionable, unmistakable, inarguable, undeniable, unequivocal, absolute awareness of the difference between right and wrong. How do I know this? Well, if you're reading this post, it means you have access to the world wide web.

Whether it's by way of someone's WiFi or you living your best life with your unlimited data plan. The fact remains, that information is at your fingertips. In addition to all that, available to many of us is the Bible, along with every concordance that is now known to man.

As if that wasn't enough, Jesus went as far as sending us the Holy Spirit. Yet we lack self-control-the one trait that should have caused Eve to resist temptation. Listen, I agree with you; because of Eve, our eyes have been opened. But on the other hand, what are we doing with the knowledge we've acquired because of her?

I know I am but what are you?

Peter Parker's grandfather in Spider-Man told him, "With great power, comes great responsibility!" yet it's the one thing we develop amnesia about when it comes to owning our mess! Oh, be quiet, Shaggy, 'cause it was me! I've only recently been able to fully own my 'decisions' and not make excuses for them either. "I did it!" Period. As much as I've low-key stoned Eve too, there are 4 things I've come to learn from her garden experience:

  1. You may run, but you can't hide - God took into account all of our mistakes. The many indiscretions we make hasn't changed His mind about loving us. And all I can say is, 'Thank God for that!' You have to take responsibility for your own messiness. When you confess it to God, I promise you, He's the only one who will forgive in the absence of a quid pro quo clause.

  2. Just because it looks good doesn't mean it's right for you - we all have that list of the ideal mate. But I soon realized that heart 'checks' (motives) are way more valuable than bank ones (money). Don't worry about why he's with her, sometimes be glad that you're not.

  3. Your bad choices have a domino effect - them putting leaves on their nakedness didn't hide what they did. Like them, God sees us, and so do all the people we often think we're fooling. Eve's decision affected all of mankind. Shucks, it meant Jesus had to die. Who's life are your poor decisions affecting? Let's face it if you're alive, your life is NOT just about you. Let's get it together, aye!

  4. When you are not anchored, you are easily persuaded - as repetitive and cliche as it may be, it's still true, 'If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything'. Don't let 'shiny' things distract you. Distraction is the enemy's weapon of choice. Sadly, it works almost every time. All's I'm saying is this chick is tired of getting 'swing' with the same tactic. Don't be like me.

So, ma'am, sis, Mamacita, senorita, please stop it! Blaming Eve is not going to change the balance on your bank account, and it won't get you that fella you have plastered on your vision board. None of us can change what she did. Rather than looking for a perpetual scapegoat, focus on this one question: "How do I resist eating the 'forbidden fruit' in my current life?" Don't be deceived; the fruit is 'juicy,' but are you willing to pay for one 'bite' with your entire life? Trust me when I tell you, it ain't never that serious!

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