Updated: Sep 6
I know people of my pigmentation and churchgoers alike, may never agree, but hear me when I say this, "Therapy is NOT only for the person that just flew over the cuckoo's nest!" Okay, lets level--if you have a heart condition, you’d fly your tail to a cardiologist simply because he specializes in that, right?
Well jumpin' Jehoshaphat, why won't you go to see someone that specializes in helping you fix your broken emotions? No, you'd rather be out here spewing toxic juice on people, like being slimed on Nickelodeon’s Double Dare! This is not rocket science people-Go. Fix. Your. Emotions. Until then, you need to quarantine yourself as if you've just contracted COVID-19.
If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you. -Unknown
Don’t mess around and let Kid n’ Play's house party run you up on breaks! You were hurt. You are angry. You are upset. You feel betrayed, and no, maybe you didn't deserve it. Why in the world would you ignore all that in a pointless effort to make those around you feel as though you are strong? I finally get it when the bible says, "His strength is made perfect in weakness." Crazy as it seems, there are advantages to whatever your limitations are.
Think about it, when people use their platforms to tell their truth-no matter how embarrassing, the world gravitates towards it. Why? Because people feel comforted to know, 'I'm not the only one out in these streets having a hard time.' As messed up as it is, there an assurance in hearing someone else survived what feels like the end of the world. Stories of triumph shine a light of hope, for what seems like a dire situation. Life won't always be a party. So you'd better learn to roll with the punches.
He-motions vs. She-motions
Nothing is more irritating than seeing someone who has done you wrong out here, living their best life. If I'm real, it makes you want to curse them. I mean, as Celie did, in The Color Purple, with those two magic fingers pointed, saying, "Until you do right by me everything you think about is gonna crumble!"
Ironically, life responds in kind. Just like Mister, "You black, you is poor, you ugly. You're a woman and you are nothing at all." While those may not be the exact words spoken to you, persons who have been in your life long enough, know exactly what to say, to hit you in the spot for greatest impact. Next thing you know, you have the music cranked-up, screaming with all your toxic friends, "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. We don't need no water.........!" Now, pray tell, does that make sense to you?
When your emotions go unaddressed and are left to their own devices to run rampant-they become time-bombs, waiting to implode. Usually, they are hiding under a rock we've labeled, 'that's just me.' When ignored, those deadly emotions detonate at the most inopportune times. More than that, they also manifest themselves through other outlets. Honestly, I've learned it doesn't make sense, hiding, or denying what I feel. No, I'm not going on Facebook to vent. No, I'm not talking to any and everyone that would listen. And no, I'm not starting an 'I hate whats-his-face fan club,' either.
What I will do is find a safe space to express what I feel and seek guidance on how to manage it. Whether it's feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, sadness, anger, hopelessness, or whatever the emotion, there is a way to get through it-rather than self-diagnosing and self-medicating.
"We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it." ―Rick Warren,
Don't rain on my parade
I like it when people say, "Only God can judge me!" Because in my mind, I'm thinking, the judgment of humans is way less intimidating than the judgment of God. While humans think they know, God knows for real. I'm talking, every gory detail. God's nanny-cam has angles, dates, and time-stamps. Crystal clear audio and His HD capabilities are unmatched. He's been having receipts before it was a thing.
So why all the faking? Like seriously, who asked you to be okay all the time anyway? Who benefits from your happy-go-lucky, I don't-care-'bout-nothing attitude? How much money was your bank balance increased by because you tucked your feelings away? Or how many years has been added to your life because you've been strong. If you're partying your life away, where is the benefit in any of that?
If your house just burned down, ain't no one homeless but you.
Truth is, all those people, who may have encouraged you not to call the fire-truck, will be the very ones you see on the news saying, "I thought it was a barbeque. But oh Lord Jesus, it's a fire (in my Sweet Brown voice)!" Translation, "Girl you hear home-girl done gone cuckoo for cocoa puffs?" And just like that, you've become hot-topics of the lunch-room chronicles. Take my stupid advice, sit small in your corner. I mean minuscule, to the point of invisibility. Care for those bruised emotions because your quality of life depends on it.
Now, if you're one of those people that lets nothing phase them, to you, I say, "Keep on trucking." However, if any of this resonates at the core of your being, please, go seek help. You don't have to suffer in silence. Contrary to popular belief, some people care enough to want to help you. Life can get better. You will be better. Like mama used to say, "There'll be days like this!" But as Moses says in Genesis, "What was intended to harm me, God intended it all for good."